So every day of the week just feels like a struggle to anyone in an office environment; you’re stuck indoors, spending your entire day staring blankly at a computer screen. And then you hit the unmistakable stage of just seeing random letters of gobbledygook rather than actual sentences. But here’s hoping that this article will help you to make sense of it all.
Monday:
It’s the first day back off the weekend and it’s just like every other Monday morning; you run to grab your usual fix of caffeine, only to find out there’s none left, and then proceed to yell at everyone for the next two hours because you just can’t cope without coffee. As lunchtime commences, you think back to the many glasses of wine you had Saturday night, and how useful those glasses would be right now (either to drink and forget some of the idiotic comments your colleagues have made, or to smash the glasses over their heads!).
Tuesday:
Another very similar day to Monday, except this time, you overslept because you took work home with you to try and catch up from the disasterous morning and didn’t stop until midnight. So instead of a leisurely drive into work, it’s become something that resembles Lewis Hamilton’s drive around Silverstone. Work itself seems to drag on but you’ve somehow survived along with everyone else in the office, and that seems to be a miracle.
Wednesday:
Finally made it to ‘Hump Day’ – over half way through the week and no-one’s been sacked yet; it must be a record! Today appears to last longer than the rest but that’s mainly due to the power cut the whole building has around 1pm and leaves you with nothing but pen and paper for a good two hours. Still, the week can only get better from here.
Thursday:
9am sat at your desk and you’ve already mentally checked out and started thinking about the weekend’s exploits. Problem is that it’s about 30 hours early and you still have about three full days’ work to fit into your schedule. There’s nothing more distracting from endless spreadsheets than deciding which cocktail you’re going to be drinking to drown your sorrows in a couple of days. But the end is near, just one more eight hour shift until the fun can commence.
Friday:
We’ve made it to the end of the week! It’s an achievement in itself that you even made it to work today. The thought of having to go out after work for drinks with your best friend and fiancé is a good enough reason not to go in, it’s just a shame your boss doesn’t think the same! But it’s a mad panic around the office today; it’s starting to look more like an episode of Supermarket Sweep but with photocopiers and ridiculous amounts of paper instead of food. The alcohol is going to be a necessity after the endless phone calls made to muppets today.
Saturday and Sunday:
The weekend is simple; drink until we drop like a sack of spuds on Saturday, and heavily pay for it on Sunday. The mother of all hangovers leaves you bed-bound for the foreseeable future, but cravings for some Dairy Milk chocolate forces you to drag yourself out the front door for the rest of the public to see how badly you feel. Maybe this is a good enough reason to not go to work on Monday. Then again, you were really looking forward to that holiday later on in the year, best not annoy the boss too soon.
And so the week begins again…
rogersmallman 