Clearly it’s just one of those days! One of the office regulars whipped out a pair of slippers from her laptop bag to keep her feet warm for the day. Is this a not-so-subtle hint to put the heating on in the office already?!
Office
The life and times of a Technophobe
It’s always a nerve-wracking experience when you walk into a new job, especially when stepping into the jaws of an office full of women who will instantly judge you as a person just by what you’re wearing on your first day, and then proceed to tell everyone else who hasn’t met you yet about their perceptions of the ‘newbie’. Admittedly, not every office falls into this category (thankfully), but first impressions are the main concern for someone who’s about to start a new career with a job title they can’t even define!
thestudentroom.co.uk
The first few hours and days in your new environment, you begin to understand how Bambi felt when tentatively stepping onto ice for the first time; you’re being dragged in so many different directions trying to keep up with the flow of the office and end up face-planting the 20-year-old, rarely-hoovered carpet. Perfect. But between attempting to memorise where every piece of stationery is carefully hidden and explaining to your boss for the fifth time, “I’m okay, I don’t need another plaster, the bleeding has stopped now,” you’ve yet to warn anyone your biggest phobia – technology.
You’re like the man in the Skittles advert who touches things and objects magically disappear when it comes to anything remotely technical. It’s the kiss of death – if you come into contact with electrical equipment and it doesn’t break, shut down or catch fire, it’s been a good day! However, explaining this fear to a colleague (or god forbid, someone in HR) sends shivers down your spine, especially after applying for an admin job and subtly misleading your employers on your CV saying you’re ‘competent in Microsoft Office.’ Surely it’s not lying, just bending the truth ever so slightly?
mensafoundation.org
And it certainly isn’t helped being constantly surrounded by machines almost the same size as you, and hundreds of thousands of black cables knotted together that would even give someone from MENSA a headache to unravel, knowing that if you tugged or tripped on just one of these death traps, the whole building could be sent into an unwelcomed blackout for hours to come. It’s as if these robot-like automatrons are baiting you into making a mistake.
But you carry on attempting to understand the complexities of an Excel spreadsheet, and refuse to cave in to technical difficulties until you’ve exhausted all other possible options, including hitting the computer with the hammer you snuck into your desk drawer from your partner’s toolbox. Although, it gets to the point where you have no choice but to ring up someone from I.T support to help you find some important client documents you accidentally deleted from your boss’ file two days ago and haven’t yet been able to retrieve.
canon.co.nz
A few weeks pass, and you’re starting to settle into the normal 9-5 routine for the first time in years, so you decide to brave the printer and change the paper. But you got a little cocky, didn’t you? You inadvertently lean on one too many buttons and suddenly English isn’t the Canon’s first language anymore… It’s in German. Another trek with your head held down to Tech Support – you’re on a first name basis with almost all of the team, despite only calling for them in emergencies, and you’ve been there less than a month. That’s got to be a new record in the building.
corptransport.com
However, you’re forgetting the bigger picture. Yes, you may not be the most technically-gifted person like the guys in the Apple Store, and you still might not fully grasp the concept of Microsoft Office despite numerous tutorials from almost every member of staff in the office, but you’re still here. The women who instantly judged you in those critical first seconds have now become drinking partners out of working hours, and the injuries sustained at work have dropped to just about an acceptable level for an overly-clumsy human being. But you’ve done it, you still have a job, despite setting the fire alarm off instead of turning the light switch off, forcing everyone in the building to frantically save their latest work and peg it outside knowing a practice drill wasn’t announced in the last newsletter.
These colleagues have taken you under their wing and haven’t kicked you out yet; you must be doing SOMETHING right…
Weekly struggles of a desk job
So every day of the week just feels like a struggle to anyone in an office environment; you’re stuck indoors, spending your entire day staring blankly at a computer screen. And then you hit the unmistakable stage of just seeing random letters of gobbledygook rather than actual sentences. But here’s hoping that this article will help you to make sense of it all.
Monday:
It’s the first day back off the weekend and it’s just like every other Monday morning; you run to grab your usual fix of caffeine, only to find out there’s none left, and then proceed to yell at everyone for the next two hours because you just can’t cope without coffee. As lunchtime commences, you think back to the many glasses of wine you had Saturday night, and how useful those glasses would be right now (either to drink and forget some of the idiotic comments your colleagues have made, or to smash the glasses over their heads!).
Tuesday:
Another very similar day to Monday, except this time, you overslept because you took work home with you to try and catch up from the disasterous morning and didn’t stop until midnight. So instead of a leisurely drive into work, it’s become something that resembles Lewis Hamilton’s drive around Silverstone. Work itself seems to drag on but you’ve somehow survived along with everyone else in the office, and that seems to be a miracle.
Wednesday:
Finally made it to ‘Hump Day’ – over half way through the week and no-one’s been sacked yet; it must be a record! Today appears to last longer than the rest but that’s mainly due to the power cut the whole building has around 1pm and leaves you with nothing but pen and paper for a good two hours. Still, the week can only get better from here.
Thursday:
9am sat at your desk and you’ve already mentally checked out and started thinking about the weekend’s exploits. Problem is that it’s about 30 hours early and you still have about three full days’ work to fit into your schedule. There’s nothing more distracting from endless spreadsheets than deciding which cocktail you’re going to be drinking to drown your sorrows in a couple of days. But the end is near, just one more eight hour shift until the fun can commence.
Friday:
We’ve made it to the end of the week! It’s an achievement in itself that you even made it to work today. The thought of having to go out after work for drinks with your best friend and fiancé is a good enough reason not to go in, it’s just a shame your boss doesn’t think the same! But it’s a mad panic around the office today; it’s starting to look more like an episode of Supermarket Sweep but with photocopiers and ridiculous amounts of paper instead of food. The alcohol is going to be a necessity after the endless phone calls made to muppets today.
Saturday and Sunday:
The weekend is simple; drink until we drop like a sack of spuds on Saturday, and heavily pay for it on Sunday. The mother of all hangovers leaves you bed-bound for the foreseeable future, but cravings for some Dairy Milk chocolate forces you to drag yourself out the front door for the rest of the public to see how badly you feel. Maybe this is a good enough reason to not go to work on Monday. Then again, you were really looking forward to that holiday later on in the year, best not annoy the boss too soon.
And so the week begins again…
Accounting doesn’t have to be confusing!
So, this blog is a chance to show that anyone can understand the basics of accounting without actually knowing the jargon, and how to improve and expand your businesses. All of this is new to our company, but we’re hoping to do the same and help others with important tips from finances to fashion tips in the office!
It’s not always going to be a serious blog, where’s the fun in that? This is supposed to be a light-hearted way of getting people to gain a couple of business ideas whilst having a cup of tea and a little giggle to themselves.
When we say you don’t have to know anything about how to look after your money, we mean it – the person writing these blog posts for us is a university student studying Sports Journalism! Her job is to break down the complicated stuff (that only accountants would understand) and give you the important basics.
Hopefully you will pass on a few of the tips in the future, and feel free to comment and add on any of your own – give our uni student a bit of a test!
rogersmallman 